Reincarnation Screw Over
by Coy Serum
Summary: When you get reincarnated you just come back into the same old world nine months later without a single memory. Whoever told you that was a liar and you should punch them in the mouth. The truth is that you get sent wherever Death wants you to go for his amusement. If that means you get sent to a crazy world where everyone is stupid and an alien is trying to take over...So be it.
1. In Which People are Reincarnated

She didn't like the idea of being born again. When she first heard about it when she was a little girl in the tiny southern church her mother went to, she had cried. She had thought it would mean she had to get shoved back into her mother's tiny body and get born all over again. The preacher had laughed at her and as she got older he explained the idea properly to her, easing her fears about her body ripping her mother to shreds. However the bleached smile and bitter chocolate lie he had spun for her was just that.

A lie.

The last thing she remembered was struggling to breathe before her mouth was being clogged with blood and other slimy stuff that she didn't even want to think about. All around her she could hear muffled screams and soothing calls that were far more dim. Eventually she breached a tunnel of light and two large and callused hands grabbed her up, nearly blinding her by lifting her up to the light. Never in her life something so disgusting, dramatic, and all round horrible happened to her. She couldn't even bring herself to stop the high pitched, hoarse screams that erupted out of her lungs and made her body shake. She was so focused on her screams that she didn't notice that she was handed off to another person, who's hands felt strangely greasy, and then dunked into freezing cold water that only made her scream louder and higher. After being dunked twice and brought up once she was rolled up in a bright pink blanket and handed off to someone else.

It wasn't until she stopped moving that she stopped screaming, her eyes adjusting for the first time to see a pale young woman with bright blue eyes. She had a head full of blonde hair that was matted with sweat and a strained smile that had an mole near her mouth. "So adorable! My cutie cutie you! Hum~!"

If she had the energy she probably would have asked why on earth someone would say hum like that instead of just humming, but she could barely think at this point. She was more than ready to just hunker down in her blankets and fall asleep. The quiet pounding of her mother's heart along with the warm blankets began pulling her from reality, however once again she was dragged up by someone and brought up close to another face. This one had a bleached smile and a pale face that looked almost frozen. If she had to guess then she wanted to think this guy was a rich preacher, politician, or some kind of low budget actor.

"We should name her Annie!" He said, blowing putrid breath all over her that smelled vaguely of ribs.

"Annie? Doesn't that sound country to you?"

"What's wrong with that?"

The two started bickering over the name, most of them starting with A for some reason, until the name Ann had been reached. Apparently it was a nice compromise between Annie and Anna-Beth. When their voices calmed down to gentle hums she once again began to close her eyes and fall into the blissful world of sleep.

* * *

The next year of her life was boring. Most of her time was spent in a crib doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. She tried to talk but everything turned out garbled and so spit filled that she gave up the endevour early on. Then there was someone changing her diaper. It was an uncomfortable experience that usually left her face red and made her excited for her body to be able to sit up so she could 'start' potty training. However the thing that annoyed if not creeped her out the most was breast feeding. The first twenty four hours of her life she had starved in a desperate attempt to keep the nipple out of her mouth. However the nurse had more or less forced her to by nearly breaking her jaw.

The only thing she had to look forward to in her reincarnated life was learning about her family. Apparently she had been right in guessing that her father was a preacher. He worked in a pretty large one somewhere with over a hundred people in his congregation. While her new found father had a fancy gig as a preacher her mother had once upon a time worked as a waitress at some place that they never named. There were other bits and facts that she found out, such as her mother's hobby of making wind chimes, or her father's love for...pork. Anything pork, it didn't really matter to him as long as it was made from pig.

And so her days mostly revolved around in boredom. When she was at the proper age to begin sitting up and crawling her mother took her out of the crib and let her wriggle on a soft blanket on the wood floor. She felt rather pathetic and exposed, often just rolling to where she wanted to go when she got bored of wriggling. Sitting up was a greater issue since it hurt to even do so. By the time she had begun doing hesitant steps Ann knew that being a child was hard and that she would never insult her baby for not wanting to crawl or walk. Those insults her precious mother, apparently named Jane, would throw at her whenever she got upset due to her lack of movement or effort.

However her mother indulged in her and her father was there when he was there. Nothing actually interesting ever happened until two months after her first birthday. She was sitting in the middle of her parent's bedroom with her mother, the woman busy reading a pork recipe book when the door bell rang. The woman dropped the book on the floor and went straight to answer it, looking very much like a plump little robot. There was a muffled sound for several moments before a high pitched scream rang through the house. It was so loud she wouldn't be surprised if several dead people suddenly got up and decided to go eat a few brains.

She sat up and watched the door, her small green eyes widening when the door opened and in came her mother. Her face was so red that she swore she could see a vein bulging out of the side of her head. In her arms was what some would have called a child and others would have called a monster. The head of dark curly hair was a rat's nest and they had something smeared all over the once yellow dress. There was a pair of blue eyes that stared at her, but they were surrounded by dirt that was nearly as dark as the girl's skin. Jane sat the girl on the floor and practically tackled the phone on the bed, jamming in numbers so hard she could have sworn one snapped off.

There was a low dial tone from the phone as it hummed and tried to connect with whatever Jane pushed in. Huffing the woman left the room, slamming the door shut with enough force to shake the wall.

That left Ann with this mystery person.

She stared at them for several moments before crawling over to the person. The person didn't shrink back or give a blank stare, instead it raised a tiny eyebrow. In that moment a sparkle of hope began to shine all over this person. For once Ann wouldn't have to pretend to babble with another baby or give blank expressions to people, instead maybe this person could understand. Even at one year's old Ann was more than able to speak the English language, perhaps not clearly thanks to all the spit, but she could talk.

She pointed a stubby finger at herself. "Ann."

The person's face lit up and they waddled closer, the tiny fists forming balls as they did. "Selena!"

They sat in silence for several moments before Selena sat on her chubby knees. "Were you dead too?"

"I-I think so." She said. "I 'member not being able to breathe then comin' out of my momma's womb."

"Me too!"

There conversation was cut off by another unnatural scream before something heavy crashed in the next room. Ann looked at the door in concern while Selena shook her head with a knowing look on her face. "What?"

"Mommy brought me here. She must have written something on that note."

"What note?"

The girl opened her mouth to reply, but stopped when the door burst open again. Jane, looking even worse off than before, marched right past the two and opened up closet. She threw a bright pink travelling case onto the bed before throwing all sorts of clothes right on top. She then proceeded to stuff them all into the case and began to gather up a variety of baby stuff as well. "Stupid Joey! I should have known he'd cheat on me with that stupid...stupid that he hired for that one office party!"

The pieces clicked together that a puzzle in Ann's brain. A month after she had been born Jane complained about Joey's habit of having strippers at his 'men conversion' groups. He must have done more than get a quick peak show from one of the strippers and Selena was the product of it.

She glanced back to her mother and noticed that she had taken out a second diaper bag. She tilted her head in confusion as she watched her pack extra diapers and the like into the bag. Well this certainly wasn't heading in the area that she thought it would head...

"Alright girls." She turned back to look at her daughter and the bastard child. "We're gonna go to a pretty hotel and stay for awhile, would you like that?"

Selena let out an excited yip, but didn't say anything while Ann squealed for her mother. Jane said hum, a weird habit she had yet to break, as she picked up first Ann then Selena and went down stairs to stow them away in the small yellow slug-bug she called a car.

Late that night with Jane asleep the two reincarnated children whispered to each other. Ann first retelling the majority of her boring life while Selena retold her own life while eating a chocolate bar.

"Won't that rot your teeth out?" Ann asked. "They're new and all."

"I have to have a lot of sugar for some reason." Selena said. "It was like that even when I was younger, Aunt Roberta added sugar to my milk."

"Hm, so what do you think will happen now?"

Selena shrugged. "Anything I guess. I mean your mom is clearly leaving your dad. I just wonder why she dragged me along?"

"She loves cute things." Jane said. "She would take in stray animals if she wasn't allergic to them."

"She's weird."

"Everyone I've met is."

"Huh?"

Jane leaned forward. "Haven't you noticed how stupid everyone is? Take my momma. Instead of just humming she says hum. Then there's our dad who won't eat anything if it doesn't have pork in it."

"Quirks?"

"No," She said. "that's not it."

Selena yawned, her tiny mouth stretching wide to do so. "Well you figure it out, I'mma go to sleep."

" Alright."

...

The very next day Jane went off to get a divorce and in almost record time the entire marriage was annulled. Jane ended up keeping Selena, because she was cute, and raised her as her own daughter. It was strange that her mother never said anything about the fact that a strange woman was raising her child...Anyway, Jane got a job at a small sub shop down the road from the apartment and soon had a schedule going. She got up early and dressed the girls before dropping them off at her strangely reclusive Aunt Tiffany's house. There the girls would listen to her stories about alien's and that the government was nothing but one huge lie, the only thing interesting was the horoscopes which Ann remembered following in her previous life. By evening the girls would be picked up and they went straight home where they ate whatever Jane brought home and went to bed. The schedule changed a little when they went to Pre-K, they went to school and then their mother would pick them up that evening thanks to evening care. On the weekends they were dropped off at their aunt's place. There was no time for anything else and as such their learning of the outside world was halted to aliens.

This schedule was firmly in place until the girl's were both four year's old. At that point that old sub shop closed down and of course Jane was fired from it. The woman worked like a madwoman for the next two weeks to get a new job. Most times she left the tiny apartment as a wreck and went job scouting, leaving the girl's with the risque teen babysitter from next door.

With the idiot around the girl's suddenly got a whole lot more info on the world. It was strange that they got all of their info out of a bubble gum popping teen for two whole weeks. They learned that the 'town' they were in was actually a giant city and they were just in a quieter section of it. They learned that there was a huge lab in the middle of the city and that's where a lot of money came from, and most importantly they learned that they were going to be evicted soon.

Both girls were tense when their mother came home those nights, watching her stiff body relax into the couch. Those pouty lips droopy and her make up all over her face from obvious tears. On those nights the girls would be as quiet as possible and stay in a corner to play with their dolls. However it was on a Tuesday that Jane came running into the house, pushing out the teen bubble popper, and held out a piece of paper. "Momma's got a job!"

Selena squealed, dropping her cookies in the process, and began jumping with her step-mom while Ann tried to smile. While she was happy for her mother the new job would mean that the schedule would go back to what it was before and there would be no news of the outside world. Jane noticed her daughter's look and bent down in front of her. "What's wrong Ann-banana?"

Her skin prickled at the nick name, but she got to the point. "Where'll you work?"

"At a pizza place, you'll go with me during the night time since Aunt Tiffany doesn't want you guys to interrupt her 'assemblies'."

Ann's ears picked up at that and the fake grin turned warm and genuine. With going to a pizza parlor that would mean real news. From either the TV, customers, or even employees. It was all kinds of perfect!

"Momma, will we eat pizza?" Selena asked.

Jane turned and scooped the abnormally tiny girl up. "Yup! I'm gonna take us there tonight for dinner!" She paraded out of the room, beckoning her eldest daughter after her.

...

When the small bug pulled up in front of the pizza parlor Ann had to read the sign twice. Her small green eyes took in every letter and with each passing second she felt her stomach get queasy. No, it couldn't be right. There really couldn't be that many pizza parlor's named such a stupid and disgusting name though. It was nearly as bad as finding out that the pizza parlor you would work at was called Freddy FazBear's. But instead of just a restaurant trying to kill you, the entire world would try to do so.

"Selena," Ann whispered. "do you know what this place is."

The younger girl's eyes were narrowed. "I thought I was wrong when I saw how I was animated."

"So you know that this is..."

"Invader Zim."

The name rolled off Selena's tongue in a way that made Ann shiver. Unlike most children shows were a good ending was almost guaranteed, the worst happening was a minor moral lesson, it never worked that way in this cartoon. The main character was the villain, the character assigned to save the world was obsessive if not an idiot, and the one sane character just didn't care. Ann had just been reincarnated and she didn't want to go through it again thanks to getting some vital organs removed.

She eyed the shop warily as her mother instructed the girls to get out of the car, ready to jump back in at any moment. She reached out and snatched Selena's hand in her own, giving it an encouraging squeeze. "We're gonna live a long life in this new world. Just do what I tell you and I promise to keep you safe no matter what."

"...Okay."

The two followed their mother into the shop and immediately Ann felt her lunch from that afternoon trying to climb into her mouth. While the pizza did smell good, contrary to what the show implied, the smell of children and puke overwhelmed that. She glanced over to Selena who's face was scrunched up in discomfort, it was nice to know she wasn't the only one affected. However the grand reality was that the smell wasn't the worse part, the actual parlor was disgusting. Grease was all over the walls and floors, there was cheese stuck to everything, and the character suits the people wore looked nightmarish and filthy. Ann finally understood why Zim was such a germaphobe and decided to become one from that moment on. The only saving grace was that the place didn't seem to be that packed, just a few families dotted around here and there.

A man in a chicken suit suddenly popped up from under a table. "Hello and welcome to Bloaty's Pizza, let me take you to your booth. Ka-kaw!"

The females followed the man to a booth towards the back of the establishment and handed out a menu and two kid's menus for the girls. Selena ignored it in favor of nibbling on a pop-tart thing, muttering something about apple pie pizza. Ann ignored her in favor of reading the menu, her interest fading to hatred when she saw the many childish names for pizza. Porky yum yum, peppy pepperoni, and pretty pineapple pizza prettiness. She wasn't even going to pretend that she knew what that last one was all about. She stood up and looked over at her mother's menu from over the top, her eyes lighting up when they caught the name of mucky mushroom pizza. She loved mushrooms, those were her favorite foods in her last life and they were bound to be again.

She pointed a finger at the words. "Please."

Jane nodded. "Alright, but eat 'em all!"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Do you want anything, Selena?"

"...No."

Jane waved down the waiter who was quick about putting in the order. After several minutes of waiting, which ended up in hair pulling on Ann's part since Selena wouldn't talk to her, they finally got a mushroom pizza and a full twenty cheese pizza. The slopping pile of cheese, grease, and baked bread came to their table steaming hot. Reaching over she pulled off one of the only two slices of mushroom pizza and gave it a quick blow before taking a bite. The hot cheese burned her tongue, but it was all worth it when she tasted the muted musky taste of mushrooms. She was enjoying it so much she didn't notice anything else in the entire room, it wasn't until Selena hit her over the head with her kid's menu that she came back down to earth. "What?"

Jane pointed to the table across from them. "The little boy over there wanted mushroom pizza and you ordered the last two, do you mind sharing?"

She looked across the way and her mouth went dry when she saw them. One was a girl with dark purple hair that reminded her of a viper's mouth, her eyes were scrunched up seemingly on purpose. The next was an adult who had strange hair, lab coat, goggles...He looked like he walked out of some kind of convention. The last was a small boy that had scythe shaped hair and glasses that would take up his entire face if he didn't let them slide down his nose a bit. It was the...Well to be fair no one knew what their last name was. Membrane was the first name of the doctor so that left the last name in mystery.

For a moment she wanted to refuse. This was her first time having pizza in a long while, to say nothing of mushroom pizza. But then again what if she didn't give him the pizza and he lost his strength? Then he wouldn't be able to fight Zim and save the world again and again for the ungrateful inhabitant of Earth. Granted Dib was about her age, but anything could happen!

Ripping the pizza off the plate she pushed Selena to the side and reverently held her pizza out to the paranormal investigator to be. The boy shyly took it, thanking her when his father reminded him of his manners. The boy stared at it for a few moments before pointing to the pineapple pizza in front of them. "Do you want some?"

She looked over to her mother who merely nodded. Going over she sat beside Dib who pushed himself as close to the cheese plastered wall as he dared and allowed Ann to jump up next to him. "This pizza is my favorite, the mushrooms look like little aliens!"

"Aliens, my aunt believes in those."

"Do you?"

"Nah," She took a bit out of the pineapple pizza. "I like reading the future with magic."

The boy's eyes lit up and within seconds he launched into a rant about a spell that he had read about that could turn broccoli into candy corn, causing Selena to wander over as well. By the end of the night the three had become friends, though as Ann drifted to sleep she worried that it would change something for the worse...

* * *

 **There we are. Seeing as how there's so many stories of people just up and sliding through the TV to get into Invader Zim, I though it'd be interesting to see what happened if someone was unlucky enough to get reincarnated there. In reality it could be worse, she could have gone to Attack on Titan or something like that.**


	2. In Which the Alien Comes to Class

In her past life, friendship had been a tricky thing for Ann to understand. Her friendships with people were often brief and she gained and loosed them the way most people gained and lost goldfish. She wasn't sure what her problem could be, and since no one would tell her what it was, she stumbled through her life blind in that area. In her brand new life that was no exception. Throughout nursery school and the early years of grade school she really didn't understand why people thought she was so strange. She was careful not to tell everyone her old memories and didn't talk about horoscopes, tea leaves, and palm readings. Whatever the case was, she went through life being friends with her sister and sometimes Dib.

Dib, just like in the show, was obsessed with the paranormal. However, unlike the show, Dib often pushed people away in favor of his escapades. Whenever there was a play date to be had at the park, Dib usually put it off for trying to catch the ninja-zombie-ghosts that he claimed haunted his toilet. Whenever they decided to go out to pizza he would put it off for catching the vampire plants at the park. While Ann understood that there was a high chance of those things existing, the show proved that the paranormal did exsist even if half the planet was too stupid to see it, she thought that it was rude to decide not to show up at the last minute or to put things off completely without saying anything.

As such they were more pass and go friends. She was more than happy to be his friend during the times he needed one, but she didn't go out of her way to invite him to places. Instead she allowed him to come to her. It was amazing how often those fanfics showed people being all cozy friends with Dib.

And even more amazing with Gaz.

Like the show Gaz was stand offish and wanted nothing to do with people. However, now that she had met her in person, Ann could sense some arrogance with it. She knew she was smarter than the majority of people around her, and she wanted nothing to do with anyone idiotic. Even with Selena, who was a complete video game nerd, she made it clear she wanted nothing to do with her.

All of this resulted in Selena being one of the only people she hung out with. Depending on how you thought of Selena determined if it was a good thing. But that was fine with Ann, the human race was a cluster of idiot morons who either needed some smart pills or to be weeded out before they infected others with their stupidity. At first one would think all the stupid things done and said were because the kids were in kindergarten and Ann had the mind of a twenty year old. Fine. But y the time they were in third grade Ann knew that humanity was completely and utterly screwed. If it wasn't for Dib, and Zim's strange obsessive personality, the rock would have been obliterated by the third episode of the show. It wasn't even that the skool system was terrible, it was teaching legitimate things, it was the people themselves.

And so Ann bumped along through life in a boring haze of words and numbers thanks to school, alien talks thanks to her Aunt, and sparse visits from he father that usually resulted in her father crying after her mother beat him with a frying pan. When Ann reached fifth grade school became far more interesting, not because she gained friends, but more because every time a new student came she was on edge. She was just waiting for Ms. Bitters monotonous talks of doom to become an introduction of some random boy without a nose and a strange skin condition.

And it was surprising when he finally did come...

* * *

Ann stared at the fire on Josh's desk, the bright red flames licking the ceiling. All of the students were crowded around it with their homework on a bunch of sticks, Ms. Bitters ignoring them. "Wow, I didn't know you could do that with chocolate and soap."

"Have you seen what's in the chocolate?" Selena said. "I think half that junk is illegal in two hundred countries! Besides, it tastes like sulfur with a chocolate after taste."

"Poop chocolate is amazing," A boy said. "you have no idea what you're talking about!"

There was a heavy knock on the door and someone dosed the out the water. In a whir of color, smell, and scuffing the entire class was back in formation, not a single hair out of place and books out. If Ann hadn't known they were roasting papers just a minute ago she would have thought they were listening to Ms. Bitters go on about the planet dying. Speaking of the old woman, her entire face was curled up in anger as she stared at something behind the rusted door. "Come in, stop keeping the class waiting."

She moved away and in came Zim, marching like the best of soldiers. He stood in front of the class, his fake blue eyes peering around before settling and looking almost normal. Now most people would probably be absorbing whatever it was that came out of his mouth in awe, Ann was far more preoccupied in staring. Even from her place towards the back of the class, it was impossible to mistake Zim for a alien looked nearly exactly the same as in the show, a glaring difference was the fact that his teeth were sharper and that if you payed attention you could see some movement from his wig. Aside from that the alien looked like his show counter part with his green skin, pinkish red eyes, and ridiculous military uniform.

Ann peeked a glance and nearly laughed at how his jaw was dropped and a single finger pointed at Zim, like he was some kind of unique attraction. Biting her bottom lip she turned her attention back to Ms. Bitters, who had decided to start the lesson on the universe imploding on itself. However she was immediately cut off by Zim, who had thought it was appropriate to stand on his desk and raise both hands. Ms. Bitters, begrudgingly, acknowledged his existence.

"In the event of say...a full scale alien invasion, how prepared do you think this planet's defenses would be? Tell me."

Ms. Bitter's raised an eye before speaking again. "As I was saying, the universe is just doomed. Doomed. Doomed. Doooooooomed."

As Ms. Bitters launched into her doom rant, Dib said the words that would begin the epic, if not ridiculous, struggle that had made Nicktoons infamous. "Okay. Am I the only one who sees the alien sitting in class?"

Everyone began looking around the room as if expecting the alien to be clinging to the ceiling, snarling and hissing all kinds of acidic goop. The boy jabbed a finger in Zim's direction in disbelief. "There! Right there! That is no kid, it's an alien. An ALIEN! One of the monsters I've been talking about! He's here to conquer Earth-"

"Oh, not this again." Zita cut him off. "You're crazy."

Dib climbed onto his desk. "What about his horrible green head?"

"You fool boy! It's a skin condition."

Ann could practically hear the smirk in his words. It was obvious that Zim had done some looking up on the planet...Or he was just pissing in the dark and hoping that humans had skin conditions. Well it was his lucky day, humans had a plethora of skin conditions, some of them worse than green skin.

"Well he's got no ears!" Dib said. "Is that part of your skin condition, Zim? No ears?"

There was silence for several moments before he bowed his head. "Yes."

"Man Dib, just because someone looks different, you can call them an alien?" Corey said.

Josh pointed a thumb behind him. "I guess Old Kid's an alien too, huh?"

The withered up old man next to Ann raised a hand. "How's it goin'?"

Dib got off his desk and went up to the board where an already drawn human male and Zim was proudly displayed. Actually sitting in the class, Ann was confused of where it even came from.

"This is us, and over here," He tapped his pointer on Zim's scribble. "this is Zim. See the difference? Anyone? Questions?"

"Yeah," Jeff said. "what's wrong with you?" All you talk about is aliens, and ghosts, and-"

Ann began tuning them out. It was really a valiant thing that Dib was trying to do, but it was pretty pointless. No one was going to believe him, and it was a waste of time trying to get them to see otherwise. It was actually a bit heartbreaking to see the moment of almost triumph on his face, and then see it dashed in a matter of seconds.

"What about you, Ann?" Dib said, breaking said girl out of her pop corn chomping moment. "You believe me, right?"

Zim twisted around and his gaze glossed over the classroom until his eyes fixated and narrowed on her. So this was the moment of decision, when she would decide what side she was on. She already knew that this wasn't a fanfiction, that she couldn't play both sides of the fence. While she was 'friends' with Dib she really hated the humans here. All of them were stupid, ungrateful, and it would probably be doing the galaxy a service to destroy them. On the other hand that would probably mean slavery on this idiot planet, and Ann didn't like being told what to do...

"I doubt it Dib," Selena said, her elbows on her desk and her hands propping up her head. "He looks almost like my Aunt after she's eaten too many hot peppers."

"Don't people turn red after that?"

"You clearly haven't met my aunt." Selena's gaze shifted to Ann. "What about you, Sis?"

So Selena was going to side with Zim? Or was she worried about the state of her organs? "Well...Selena has a point, Dib..."

Dib's face fell, but before he could say anything the bell rang and the class began escaping the school out the window, through the main door, and out of the vents. Ann packed up her things and went over to Selena's desk, which was in the second row next to Zita, and waited for her sister to gather up her things. "So he's here."

"Yup," Ann watched Dib run out of the class, no doubt getting ready to ambush Zim. "in all his tiny glory."

Selena slung her backpack over her shoulder. "So, last one home does the dishes?"

"You're on."

* * *

When the girls got home the apartment was empty. Their mother wasn't due for the next few hours, and their aunt was busy doing whatever it was she did at her assemblies. Now that the girls were old enough to be on their own, Jane had told the girls to learn to cook...No teaching, no cookbooks, she just stocked the fridge and expected them to do it. The woman was immensely lucky that Selena had the mind of a sixteen year old, most of the time, but that she also knew how to cook. Before long the smelling of frying onions, sizzling meat, and roasting bread wafted through out the house.

Ann moaned as she fell onto the overstuffed couch and clicked on the television. "Time to catch up on my soaps."

The TV blared to life and instead of seeing the over made up woman that was usually on the show, she saw the dreary looking news anchor. "With a traffic crash this big caused by two children, it's unknown when Cocker Street will be open again. Now back to your normal and very pointless broadcasting."

"So the destruction has begun."

Selena peeked her head into the room. "Really? I didn't think they caused a car crash."

"Apparently they did." Ann said. "But as long as it's away from us, it doesn't really matter."

"Is that why you chose to believe Zim?"

Ann nodded. " I like my organs where they are...And my life. I know I can get reincarnated and all, but I don't even want to know how Zim would do me in."

"Wow, I didn't even think of all that." She said slowly. "I just didn't want Zim to hate me right off the bat."

"Of course you didn't... So we agree that we don't know ZIm is an alien and to never believe Dib unless forced?"

"Agreed!"

Ann turned back to her show, turning up the volume. For the next three hours it was more or less quiet. The girls ate their burgers, Selena washed dishes, and they began tackling their homework just before their mother came home. It was already dark when Jane finally came through the door, the stench of weat and grease coming in along with it. She greeted them with a kiss before going to devour Selena's food.

""Tastes good as always, Sel." She said in between a bite. "So how was school?"

"We got a new student!" Selena said.

"Really?" Jane raised an eyebrow. "That happens practically every few months. You'd think Ms. Bitters was eating those kids."

"Well this one's different." Ann said. "He's got a serious skin condition and stuff, don't get freaked out when you see him on parent teacher night next week."

"I'm sure it can't be that bad." Jane said. "Everything happens for a reason. Maybe he will create a cure for his disease. Science explains plenty of things, and usually people who suffer something or someone close to them suffer something, they look for ways to get rid of it. Basic survival instinct really."

It was almost funny that her mother was saying Zim was a cure for being an Irken. After all, he almost destroyed his own race and managed to kill two of his Tallest. No, the only cure that Zim would be was a cure for the never ending boredom that came with living in this world...That or the cure for human stupidity, one or the other, she really didn't care which.

* * *

The next day Dib had actually come by the girls' apartment building in order to walk to school with them.

Ann tilted her head to the side, some of her blonde hair getting in her face. "Wow, you haven't been here in awhile. You need something?"

"Not really." He said. "I just wanted to ask you a little question-"

"No, I don't think Zim's an alien."

"How'd you know I'd say that?"

Ann crossed her arms and leaned on the door frame. "I've known you since we were five, Dib. It's not hard to figure out. Being that predictable could make you a target for aliens though, if they decided to watch you."

"Hey you're right-wait a minute." His eyes narrowed. " That's not the point here! How could you of all people not think Zim is an alien! I mean look at him! Green skin, no ears, no noes. Do I need to divine our future and show you all the destruction he's going to cause!"

"Hey, I don't talk trash about your hobbies, don't talk bad about mine."

Dib shook his head. "Really, I don't get it. Can you really look at Zim and think he's not an alien?"

"Yeah."

The boy stared at her for several minutes before backing away. "Fine then, I'll see you at school."

"See you then."

She shut the door and turned around, just to find Selena only inches in front of her face. She frowned and pushed her away and went to their room, ready to change out of her night dress. "So what was Dib talkin' about?"

"Our stance on Zim."

"Oh." Selena sat on the bottom bunk. "You know, we should probably make an escape route or something for when Dark Harvest shows up. I don't want to be like that poor kid who had the explosive thing in place of his liver."

Ann stopped tugging on her blue shirt and turned to stare at her sister, her brain almost shutting down on itself. Just because she knew what was going to happen didn't mean she knew when any of the events would happen.

"ARGH! Screw that Irken!"

* * *

 _ **I didn't expect to get such an overwhelming response for this story, so thank you everyone for reading/reviewing/faving/following. I thought it was shit, but you all think wrong so I'll continue it.**_

 _ **To answer nightmaster000. That is explained in this chapter.**_

 _ **And to answer CupcakeTrue. Thank you for the advice, but I'm a veteran to making Ocs. You'll notice within this chapter that Ann and Selena don't even have any real friends, haven't mentioned their deaths, their looks aren't described for paragraphs, and they haven't even forced themselves into any events.**_

 _ **As for Lisa Violet, I think the answer is obvious now.**_

 ** _And now I shall add a fun fact each chapter. Why? Because there was so many drafts of this story, it's ridiculous. So here it is._**

 _ **Fun Fact: Ann and Selena were originally supposed to be birth sisters. They were changed later on since I decided it would be too Mary-Sueish for a pair of sisters to die around the same time and wind up in the same dimension.**_


	3. In Which Parents and Teachers Meet

In her past life, Ann never liked being the new kid. It was something that happened pretty often thanks to her father moving whenever he needed inspiration for his photos. Since she lived with him during the school year, it was impossible for her to make friends or just adjust to the status quo. As such, she kind of felt bad for Zim as she watched him bumble through those first few days. It was a sort of silent agreement through out the entire class that there was something wrong with Zim, that he was not allowed to have a social life, and that everyone was more or less higher than him on the social food chain. Of course it may have had something to do with the popular crowd's immediate dislike of him, but Ann didn't want to jump to conclusions.

Picking at her, what she thought was beans, she watched the alien sit at a table all alone. "Third day here and no one wants to sit with him."

Selena didn't look up from the pudding cup she was busy stirring. "Are you surprised? I mean look at him, he basically defines what most people would avoid if they want some semblance of a social life." She licked her spoon before pointing it in Zim's general direction. "If you're so worried about him, you go sit with him."

"Heck no."

"Okay then."

Ann jumped when Dib slammed his tray down while Selena just raised an eyebrow. "You guys'll never guess what I've got!"

"A new heart?" Selena said. "I think you killed Ann's."

"No," He pulled a small box like item out of his pocket. The shiny metal glistened in the light, as if to brag about how clean and futuristic it looked compared to the metal tables and chairs they were sitting on. "this is a super scanner! I followed Zim home two days ago and now I can scan it to see what it's made of."

Ann poked the thing with a finger. "Isn't that illegal?"

"Not since he's an alien." He said with a wave of his hand. "So, do you wanna take it with me to his place?"

Ann stared at the tiny box. While it would be cool to see Zim's house first hand, she was also afraid about how lethal those gnome lasers were without the Nicktoon censorship in place. "Um, no thanks. I don't wanna be hauled into jail at twelve, it's not good for my health."

His face fell somewhat. "Oh, right...What about you, Sel?"

"..." Ann's eyes narrowed as she spied the younger girl. Her dark skin had the slightest bit of a rosy tint to it, a clear hint that she was considering it. "Well-"

"Of course you're not!" Ann said. "I'm not cooking."

The girl pouted, but did as her sister said. Ann almost gave a sigh of relief as Dib launched into a long rant of why they should believe him and all that jazz. She had to keep her sister on point, god forbid she was used as some kind of science experiment. What if Zim managed to figure out that she was reincarnated? That wasn't something that she wanted to think about. Shuddering she took a bite of her lunch, just for the stuff to start clawing at her throat and making her eyes water.

...

The next few days rolled away in a blur and before she knew it, Ann was walking with her mom down the road to the school. Selena was popping bright red candies into her mouth while her mom was looking over their progress reports. "When I was a kid Ms. Bitters was rumored to be the devil. Looking at the scores I don't think it was that per se..."

"I hate science class though!" Ann said. "All she talks about is how we're all doomed. How am I supposed to be excited about studying that?"

Selena held one of her candies to the light. "I'm not gonna lie, I just don't care about my grades."

Jane shook her head. "How are you going to go to a good college if you don't care about your grades? You don't want to be like me and rely on a two timing, ugly, stupid, and perverted man for your income and eventually take care of his bastard daughter do you?"

"No."

"No ma'am..."

Jane's eyes widened before she bent down and hugged Selena. "Oh, I'm so sorry Sel, putting all my irritation out on you. Just horrible!"

In the last few years, Jane basically had a general dislike towards all men. She wasn't as bad as a feminazi, but at times her outbursts became ridiculous. Ann had quickly learned to ignore them, but she was worried about Selena at times since she was the product of her father's cheating ways.

Selena pushed at her mom. "We're gonna be late mom, come on!"

"Alright, alright." She let her daughter go. "But I'm hugging you again when we get home."

"A chocolate tart with cherry sauce would taste better..."

"Don't push it, young lady."

Selena shrugged and crossed her arms as she continued walking. "Can't blame a girl for trying!"

...

When they got to the school the gym was already packed. Parents buzzed around teachers, and children happily spoke with each other, excited that they got to talk again before school the next day. Selena made a bee line to the snack table while Ann wandered over to Dib who was staring at the door. "You waiting on Zim?"

He nodded, not even sparing time to blink. "Yeah. There's no way that he can have a parent. I bet he was hatched in a nest like a bug...or something."

Ann snorted at the thought. He was most certainly hatched, but not as a bug, even if Zim really did look like an over sized insect. "I'm sure he has nice parents since they have to deal with a kid like Zim, his skin condition must get troublesome."

Dib turned to stare at the girl. "Really? I mean they've got to be green or-"

The door slammed open and in came Zim with his robotic parents. It was interesting to see them, they looked heavy and made with enough bolts to make a tank blush in shame. But the metal was nice and smooth, and the wheels didn't squeak when they moved so she supposed that was a good thing.

The alien looked around for a few seconds before marching up to Ms. Bitters, who was ranting to a few of the parents.

"Ehm! These are my parents, and I love them with all my heart."The mother robot leaned to the side, almost looking like a half attempted Matrix move, while the father robot sparked. "I must have punch now!"

Dib grabbed Ann with him to the snack table, Gaz walking behind the two in boredom. When they reached their destination she snatched herself out of Dib's grasp and went to her sister, who was munching on cookies. Ignoring the Membrane family Ann snatched a cookie out of Selena's hand. "Hey!"

"Don't eat those, I don't trust anyone's hygiene in this god forsaken place." She tossed the cookie to the floor and ground it in with the heel of her boot.

The younger girl huffed and leaned against the table, her gaze following Zim as he dismissed the professor in a distracted manner, before going back and popping Dib's juice, spilling the stuff all over his face. The younger girl snorted while Ann fished a tissue out of her pocket and handed it over. "You should realize that nearly everything's gonna bite you in the butt at some point."

"No kidding."

Ann opened her mouth to say something else, but stopped when Selena dragged her backwards, just in time to avoid Dad-bot from slamming into her. She watched in shock as the thing hit the wall with a loud boom and sparks shot out of him, the embers dying the minute they touched the nasty floor. Ann's just watched in confusion as the Mom bot began wildly poking a woman before taking Zim and dumping him into the punch bowl, some of the purple liquid getting all over her t-shit. Even more managed to splash all over her when Dib took an already filled cup of punch and spilled it all over Zim. "Hey, just him, not me!"

Zim made to yell at them, but stopped when loud booms shook the room as Dad-bot kept slamming into the wall. Small cracks were making there way up the walls and she wouldn't be surprised if a dent could be seen from the outside. He ran over to him and tried to soothe a suspicious teacher, just for more spark and electricity to go through the robot. Seconds later a loud pop sounded before a stringy arm sailed through the air and landed in front of the crowd.

"I-It's nothing to worry about! My Dad lost his arm in the-the war!" Zim said, scrambling for a decent excuse.

Selena snorted and leaned against her sister, shoulder shaking as she tried to keep in her laughter. Her eyes only narrowed when Dib joined in, also managing to lean against her and making her legs weak. She had to admit the sight was hilarious, but she was also worried about the state of the people around them. All were glaring down at her sister, who hadn't bothered to conceal her laughter, and a now sheepish Dib.

She rolled her eyes and pushed them both off as she went over to the robot and made a quick salute. "Thank you for your service, Sir."

The man stopped mourning over his arm for a moment before his attached arm saluted right back. "You're welcome pointless civilian! Stay out of trouble, respect the government, and ignore the spy equipment in your cereal!"

"R-right."

Zim pushed passed her, nearly knocking her down, and grabbed his robot before going to drag away the mom-bot, who was still mercilessly poking that poor woman from earlier. "Look, Mom, we really have to go, please now, please!"

Ann sighed in relief when the robot stopped and turned to look at her creator. "Almost, so close..."

"So these sprinkled ones tastes like dirt," Selena handed Dib a lemon glazed doughnut. "But these are better, they're the perfect mix of sweet and tart."

"You both are enjoying this, aren't you." Ann muttered, before the loud sound of metal grating against metal could be heard. "And they're dancing a jig now, right?"

"Look, everyone look!"

"Yup...They sure are."

Ann hissed and began massaging her temples, irritation clouding her mind and making it almost impossible to focus. It wasn't until a high pitched shriek echoed through the room that the booming finally stopped, before a low whirring sounded through the room and a loud crash as the robots exited the room...From the ceiling.

"Let me guess," Dib said from behind her. "nobody saw that."

"No Dib...No one saw a thing..."

...

Sitting in the living room Ann was busy tackling her homework. Across from her was her sister who was eating a doughnut while reading her literature book, and her mother was painting her nails."Huh, I never did see that green boy you were talking about earlier."

"He was around." Ann said, working out a fraction. "He left early with his parents."

"Oh. I was hoping to meet him, I've never seen a green boy before." She said. "It sounds rather exotic."

"Skin condition, Mom." Selena said.

Jane waved a hand, some of the paint splatting on the couch. "Still it's interesting. Now who wants to clean up the mess mommy made?"

Ann and Selena stared at each other for a few seconds before they wordlessly balled their hands into fists. They shook them three times before Selena's stayed in a ball and Ann's became a scissor shape. Ann smacked the floor as she got up, eyes narrowed as she glared at her smirking sister.

"I hate you."

"Love ya too, Sis!"

...

 _ **A/N: So this was a shorter chapter, but does anything else really need to be said? Once again thank you for all your over-whelming responses, it's truly amazing to me.**_

 _ **To nightmaster000. Yes to both questions.**_

 _ **To Guest. You ain't a problem. I'm an actual bitch when it comes to my reviews, especially when it comes to pet peeves. I've never read the Johnny series, so no references.**_


	4. In Which 'Fun' is Had

In her past life, Ann loved Easter. Not only did her mother's family have a huge dinner, but they also hid hundreds of candy filled eggs all over her Aunt's pecan orchard. She would fight her twenty-eight cousins for the right to find, and later devour, the delicious candies that her family would all pitch in to buy. It was her favorite time of year with all the food, songs, laughter, and had helped create Ann's love for scavenger hunts. Yet no matter how much she loved looking for things, the conditions also had to be perfect. Her Aunt's pecan orchard was nearly sixty acres that provided plenty of shade and the grass wasn't too high. She got a decent meal after all the exercise that she under went, most of it consisting of pies and candies. But the best part was that she simply got along with most of her cousins. Those that didn't get along normally teamed up with people they liked in order to find the colorful eggs.

That wasn't the case here.

The skool outdoor recess area was large, but it was also dirty with trash, old school things, and the occasional hobo. The skool food was also disgusting, and if her mother didn't complain about having to buy extra food just for them to eat at school, she would bring food from home...Or at least do what Selena did and bring money and buy sweets from the store before going to school. However the thing that irked her more than anything else was the fact that she just couldn't stand anyone in her class. All of them were idiots, Zim and Dib included, she didn't know if she could sit there and share such an activity with people that she wasn't all that crazy about.

She sighed and balled up the scavenger hunt flier. "I can't believe the school can even afford to do this kind of thing. Last I heard they were scraping money together to get ready for the school fundraiser next month."

Selena shrugged, not looking up from the cookie she was examining. "Meh, doesn't really matter to me. I always hated scavenger hunts, reminded me of having to find stuff in my Old Man's apartment."

"Is that why you keep the room dirty?"

"Whatever."

The door opened and in floated Ms. Bitters, a large basket in her knarled hands. "All of you get to your seats before I fail you all." Within seconds the entire class was sitting in their proper places, eyes forward and hands folded. "Now, the school has decided that since you all spend far too much time cooped up in a classroom like students are supposed to do, they would organize a scavenger hunt."

Quiet muttering went through the class, before Ms. Bitters gave her snake like hiss that silenced them all. However Old Kid raised a hand in the air. "Ms. Bitters, isn't that supposed to be on Friday?"

"It was, but the school will be experimenting with a new meal for the lunch menu," She said. "they thought it would be unsafe for the students to be here so they scheduled it for today. Coincidentally the same day that you all got a hold of the cheap and poorly drawn up fliers. Now all of you get in teams of four and then I'll give you the next instructions."

Immediately two boys went over to Selena's table. "Hey, Sel! You'll be apart of our team, right?"

The girl opened up her mouth before a broom hand smacked the desk and Ann leered over them. "You both weren't considering being on my sister's team without me...Right?"

The shorter boy shook his head while the redhead silently backed away. "Come on Jim, we don't have to be with her."

Ann watched the two slink off before dropping her broom and hugging Selena. "You'll be on my team!"

"Of course, Sis." She said. "But you are really creepy sometimes, almost like a sister complex."

"Shut up."

"Room for one more?" She turned around and saw Dib standing around with his hands in his pockets. "Unless you, your sister, your sister's bag of sweets, and your protective nature count as for people."

"I'm not protective." She snapped, getting off her sister. "But yeah, you're more than welcome to join us. Reminds me that one time your Dad had us looking for the notes that you took from him on outer space."

"That was one time!"

Selena rolled her eyes. "That was the longest six hours of my life. I've never seen a room so big and with so many dust bunnies. You'd think the attic would have to be spotless since your dad is a scientist and all."

"The maid didn't come by that day."

"You lucky jerk."

Ms. Bitters slammed her hands on the table, catching everyone's attention. "Now it looks like you're all paired off except for...Zim." She glanced around the room before pointing over to Ann, Selena, and Dib. "Zim, go with those three over there."

"But Ms. Bitters-!"

Dib shut up when the teacher's eyeless eyes narrowed at him. "Do you want me to send you to the underground classroom, Dib? Now Zim, do as I said so we can start this pointless waste of time."

The alien stood up and marched over to them. He then grabbed Ann and wedged her between himself and Dib, as if she was some sort of shield that could save him should the human pounce.

"Now then," Ms. Bitters said. "you all have three hours to find all the junk I've hidden around the skool. Whoever manages to find the stuff first, get's...Well something." She pointed to the door as she faded into the wall. "Now off with you!"

The kids began escaping out of the windows, vents, and doorway, leaving the four weirdos in the classroom alone. Ann siddled away, dragging Selena with her before making a sweeping motion with her hand. "You may now fight each other."

Dib glared at Zim. "Well Zim, do you even know what a scavenger hunt is? Huh?"

"Of course I do!" He waved his hands around. "It's uh, it's that thing that you do-you know...Stuff."

"Okay," Selena said. "Now that we've established that we can talk, let's find all the crap on this list. Looks like stuff you could find just about anywhere, a watch, green paint, a sausage, a human skull, and a chocolate bar." Selena looked up from the list, the sides of her eyes crinkling. "Well, looks like we have all those things here-"

Ann snatched the list. "It'd be easier if we split up into teams and divide the list in half."

"But we can't be trusted with him!" Dib pointed at Zim, causing him to lean away from the accussing finger. "I say we just kick him off the team and look by ourselves."

"Look, teamwork is the only thing that'll get this list done. I don't even want to know what the prize is, but it could be worse off for the losers." Ann said. "So I'm gonna go with Sel-"

" **I'm not going with him**!"

Ann raised an eyebrow, worried about the fact that they managed to say that at the exact same time. "Fine, um..."

"I'll go with Zim!" Selena said, before flinching under Ann's glare. "I-I mean, only if you want me to, Sis."

"..." She glanced back to the alien who was glaring at his arch enemy. "Fine."

Selena grinned, making a sinking feeling go through Ann. She remembered a few years ago when she was having a conversation with Selena, apparently Zim was her favorite character followed by Tallest Purple. She really didn't want Selena to up and defect to Zim's side, god only knew what kind of experiments he would do to a willing test subject. Shaking her head she ripped the page in half and handed one to Selena and stuffed the other one in her pocket. "Alright, I guess we meet up at Dib's desk in an hour."

Selena nodded and walked off, ZIm grudgingly following behind her. "Is she gonna be alright with him?" Dib asked.

"I sure hope so..."

* * *

Selena stared at the list with narrowed eyes. Her sister had given them the task of finding the chocolate bar, human skull, and green paint. Only one of those things actually interested her even if the chocolate in the skool usually tasted suspicious. "If we head to the teacher's lounge we'll get chocolate faster than if we wait for the huge line in the lunch room."

"Yes, yes, fascinating."

She glanced at Zim and noticed the stiff, if not bored look on his face. Here she was walking with one of her favorite cartoon characters of all time, right up there with Stocking and Dexter, it was almost sacrilegious to be so boring. However, the fact was, that Selena was a very boring person to be around in general. She usually made sarcastic comments while eating her sweets in a background, no one made conversation with her except her sister, it was just how things were done. She sighed and pocketed the paper in her skirt. "Look, I have nothing to talk about, but I really hate silence, say something."

Zim raised an eye in his weird way. "You wish for me to entertain you, what do I look like to you, human? An entertainment drone?"

"..." Did she have to answer that with a straight face? Instead she decided to slide in front of him as they came up on the teacher lounge. "Alright, stay back."

She raised a leg and kicked the door, the thing flying open with a loud pop as if it had been jammed with something sticky. She grinned and sauntered over to a bucket full of chocolate bars. She chucked it at the alien who caught it and held it with only two fingers, a disgusted look on his face. "Why is it we're looking for a bunch of things anyway? It doesn't help to accomplish anything and is a waste of time."

"So's school." Selena said, taking out the list again. "It's best to just shut up and take it. Now next we've gotta find the human skull-"Zim presented one to her, the forehead part shattered, and small marks drawn in some places in red ink. Selena dipped her fingers into the eye sockets and let the thing dangle off her fingers, her nose scrunching up as she did. "Why do you have one of these?"

"It was for a, um..." He tapped his fingers together. "A project! An extra credit project I was going to present to Ms. Bitters. Yeah, that's it."

"Sure it was...Guess it's time to look for some green paint."

* * *

"How hard is it to find a watch!" Ann snapped as they walked the skool halls. "I mean does no one just drop watches or something like that, anymore?"

"Aren't we supposed to find the watch Ms. Bitters hid?"

Ann stopped walking, nearly causing Dib to run into her. "Yeah, but we've been looking for the same stupid watch for thirty minutes! It shouldn't take so long to find something like that!"

"Maybe we should just use Ms. Bitters mindset. "Dib said. "Maybe look in a place only she would think about."

"Like what?"

Dib looked around the halls for a moment before snapping his fingers. "What about the Janitor's closet? She said that it was her favorite place to destroy our school projects."

"Good idea!"

The two ran to the southern end of the school to a tiny little door that was covered in enough muck to make a toilet feel ashamed. Ann gagged and felt shudders go down her spine simply by looking at the door. Dib raised an eyebrow, but said nothing of her behavior as he opened up the door and a swarm of flies flew out of the tiny space. Ann screamed and squatted down, swatting them away with her hands while dib took a can out of his pocket and began to spray them with something. Within seconds they all caught on fire and dropped to the ground, burnt to a disgusting greasy crisp.

Ann stood back up and smoothed the wrinkles out of her jeans. "What was that?"

"My super spray." He pocketed the can. "I was gonna use it to try and burn a piece of Zim's skin off so I could take it back to the lab, but I just used it all up."

The girl's face paled at his words. She wasn't sure she would ever get used to the rather extreme ways Dib tried to pry off Zim's disguise and the like. At times it sounded more like he was an insane torture expert than a kid paranormal investigator. "R-right. Well, let's go look for that watch."

They entered the dark room, and the putrid rotten egg smell only managed to get stronger. Ann clenched her nose with a hand as they bumped around in the tiny room. Even though it was dark Ann could still make out a few things. There was a mop in the corner, a few buckets full of...well something on the shelves above them. And a series of strange broken down metal circles that were all stacked up on one another with a bucket on the very top. "Do you have a flashlight in your pocket?"

"Huh? No." Dib said. "But I do have some super toast."

"No thanks."

She moved past the shelf with the metal circles, but was tugged as her wrist flew up and smacked into them with a loud bang. She shrieked, either form the pain in her hand or the surprise she wasn't sure, and tried to tug herself and the bracelet off the disks. She could hear Dib coming closer to her. "You alright?"

"Yeah, those disks must be magnetic though, be careful."

She felt cold hands grab her wrist and give a harsh pull, but nothing happened aside from the threat of a bruise forming on her arm. There was another series of harsh tugs before Dib let go of her and walked away, muttering to himself. Moments later he returned with something long in his hands, when he wrapped it around her arm it was rough and scratchy, hinting that it was some kind of rope.

"Alright, I'm gonna pull on this. It's probably gonna hurt your arm, but don't worry, I've done it before." He paused for a moment. "Of course that was Gaz's tooth when we were six, but I got it out just fine."

"Don't rip my arm out, Dib."

"I won't."

Ann shut her eyes and waited for the paint to come. When it did Ann felt like her entire arm had just caught on fire as it was wrenched forward, with the wrist still attached to the metal. A second tug had her squealing, and by the third she was sure she was gonna cry. With a grunt and a harsh pull Ann felt her wrist pop off the metal with a light zinging sound and she stumbled forward, nearly face planting straight into the ground. Something behind her crashed, but she didn't worry about it as she brought her bruised appendage up to her face. "Thanks for saving me Dib, just next time don't be so rough."

"You're the one who went near a powerful magnet with metal on."

"Yeah well-"She stopped as she felt something cold and slimy on her back. "You didn't get that slime on me did you? Dib? Dib?"

The boy was just staring, eyes wide and, from what she could tell in the dim light, that his jaw had dropped. In most video games, movies, TV shows, and books that was a tell tale sign of something behind her. Instead of turning around to see what it was she began to run, with Dib in tow. "How did a slime monster get in there?"

Ann shivered as an image of a thirty foot green thing lodged itself in her head. "I don't even want to know."

They turned a corner and for a split second Ann got a good look at a greyish green blog that had several metal spikes coming out of its face. The thing hissed as it collided with the wall, a loud splat coming from it. Both kids stopped and turned around to face the creature, watching it shake its head before roaring. Ann screamed and continued to run, Dib right behind her. "Okay, so here's the plan-"

"I'm not bait."

"I didn't say you had to be." He said. "That thing looks like it's mostly made of goop. What if we led it to the toilets and flushed it down?"

"Do you think it'll fit?"

Dib glanced back at the thing. "We've got to try! Who knows what that thing will do if it get's out of the school."

Ann grunted in agreement and followed Dib as he took the lead. They went several twists and turns before they came up on the boy's bathroom. Dib wrenched it open and let Ann escape inside before turning back to the creature. "Hey, you! Come in here you stinking ball of mess!"

The thing's grey eyes narrowed before it charged him. He lept out of the way just in time for it to rush into the bathroom, it's bubbling body twisting around as it looked for another victim. Ann peeked her head out of a stall, waving a tiny white flag. "Hi, over here."

The thing hissed and flattened aginast the ground as it slid towards her. Just when it was inside the stall Ann jumped up on the toilet, the urge to puke becoming stronger, and shut her eyes. She heard a loud roar, something slamming the door open, and then the flush of water. Ann opened her eyes and witnessed the slimy mass go down the toilet, a heavily breath Dib holding down the lever. The two remained silent for several seconds before Ann jumped off the toilet, her hands wiping themselves furiously against her jeans. "Okay, I'm done. Let me throw up so we can figure out where the watch is."

"Ann, you can just make yourself-"

"Blargh!"

* * *

Selena slumped against Dib's desk, the skull and green paint firmly in hand. "That was the most boring thing I've ever done. What about you guys?"

A tired Dib and Ann just stared at each other for several seconds before shrugging. "It was alright."

Zim slammed his things down ontop of Selena. "We've gathered all the supplies, when will the other _filthy_ worm babies be finished? And when can I get my prize?"

"Your's?" Selena sat up, the chocolate bar falling off her back. "I did all the work! If anyone's getting a prize it's me!"

"I produced the skull and got the paint off the shelf."

"So?" She snapped. "I could have done it just fine without you! Besides, why in the heck do you even have a human skull with you?"

"Because-"

"Shut up, Dib!"

Ann curled to fingers into her mouth and blew, a high pitched whistle coming from her. All three room occupants looked at her with a blank expression. "Guys, there's no point in fighting. The entire scavenger hunt is about having fun, bonding with friends, and to forget about the hard times. If you can't do that, then what was the point?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

Selena crossed her arms. "You're right Sis, it's all about having fun." She looked over to Zim. "But winning an argument is way more important. So we can both agree that I've won, correct?"

"You stupid human! I obviously did better than you, and if your inferior brain can't comprehend that then you're insane!"

"Keep dreaming!"

* * *

 ** _A/N: And I completed another chapter. Writing a relaxed fic like this is helpful with stress relief, one of the reasons I've been updating so often. However I still would like to thank everyone who's been interested in this story, that's nice to see when I'm busy in my fucked up world._**

 ** _To nightmaster000. Romance between canon characters and ocs is something that I have always been weary of. If I were to add romance I would have to be careful about it. The most obvious reason is that it could fuck up the entire fic, and that the characters are all children. Well Zim isn't, but at the same time he's an alien who believes himself to be superior._**

 ** _To Cupcake True. I think this chapter answered your question. To be honest having only chapters that revolve around the episodes would mean a rather short fanfic, one that wouldn't even introduce the plot of this fic._**

 ** _To ngrey651. Alright, I'm just gonna answer your whole review. It's not something I usually do, and I'm not promoting favoritism, but you seem rather worked up about this. Zim, in general, is actually incredibly smart on a technological and educated level. He's proven he can make WMDs and even thwarted an Irken who was better organized. However Zim is, to be frank, bat shit crazy. He's obviously suffering from delusions of grandeur and the fact that his own Tallest have any form of respect/care about him. Not only that he's destructive, often destroying things just for the hell of it, obsessive to the point of no return, and doesn't grasp simple social ques. No, none of the social things even have anything to do with humans, but even with his own people he often doesn't get things. I want to say he could be autistic to a degree, or just insane, but I guess they summed it up by saying he's defective. So no he doesn't understand the FBI, where babies come from, or the fact that his mech didn't disguise him, but he's scary smart on certain levels and has advanced tech. Who knows what you could find out with some good DNA examining tools._**

 ** _Now that we have Zim's rant out of the way, let us move onto our OCs. If you haven't noticed by now, Selena and Ann aren't exactly in a show about rainbows, sunshine, and pixie-piss. Instead they're in one where an alien wants to take over the world and will do so by any means necessary. The whole point of this fic is about two normal people, with no special powers or abilities, trying to survive. If they were to say yes to Zim, and willingly be his slaves, then the chance of them surviving is pretty saw Zim Eats Waffles, right? Then you know that the brain probes are as big as a jackhammer. Even in the episode with him trying to find friends, it's hinted that he wanted to use the poor bastard as a slave, he was just creeped out by Keef and didn't follow through. So yeah, the girls are selfish, but they're just doing what they think is best to stay alive._**

 ** _So my huge ass rant is over._**


	5. In Which Zim Makes a Friend

In her past life, Ann had never liked recces. She didn't like getting on swings since they gave her motion sickness, she didn't like getting on the jungle gym since she was afraid of heights, and she hated playing soccer since she always tripped when trying to kick the ball. So instead she would go find some comics and sit around on the wall and read them until the shrill whistle from the recces patrol teacher told all the students to go back inside. It was pretty common for Ann to pray for rain before she fell asleep, and during the late summer for her to pray that the temperature soared high enough to make all the students stay inside.

The same applied for this new world.

While her new body didn't seem to have issues with motion sickness, she still had a paralyzing fear of heights. Whenever she went swing she'd never go up high because then she'd freak out. She of course didn't get on the jungle gym, not only because of how high the thing got, but because how rusted it was she didn't want to get tetanus. Instead of soccer the students in the skool normally played dodge ball, and while she was pretty good at throwing the ball, she usually got hit in the face with the ball. So she usually sat next to her sister with either some comics or the horoscope page of the newspaper, keeping herself busy until the old bell finally rang and let them inside.

However this nice quiet life that she led was brutally disrupted when Zim came along. The alien quickly had to adapt to the ay earth people played games, and this often led to disaster. He thought that tether-ball was similar to baseball and would often use people as bats, would nail Dib on purpose with the dodge ball, and would weaponize the entire jungle gym when the boys wanted to play knights and dragons. It was more annoying than anything, but she didn't really realize just how far removed Zim was from everyone else until she was busy doing a group art project with Keef, her sister, and Old Kid. No one was sitting with Zim, no one mentioned Zim, he was on his own lonely island...or desk, whatever.

In the cartoon it had almost seemed humorous how Zim only really interacted with Dib and Gir, but seeing it for yourself...It was depressing. Whenever Zim made to sit next to someone when the lunchroom was crowded, nearly everyone would up and leave. If there was a group anything, no one ever picked Zim, even when Ms. Bitters told him to join the group he was ignored. It was only during recces that he was somewhat acknowledged, and even then it was nothing to see him face down in the concrete with a dodge ball next to his head. And while she could probably say something about it, maybe go up and talk to him...

She never did.

She was perfectly content to watch on in silence, never lending a helping hand or even spare him a pencil. It probably would be the right thing to do, but she didn't want to stand out. The minute she did something nice for Zim he'd probably become suspicious. No one was nice to him, no one acknowledged him, no one befriended him.

It was just the way things were.

* * *

Ann stabbed her lunch with a fork, causing it to squeal. "I don't even want to know why it did that."

Selena grunted, busy mixing together the nuts, fruit, and yogurt of her cherry parfait. Ann frowned, but let the unconcerned reply go as she pushed her tray away. She put her head on her arm and laid there for a few moments, listening to the idle chatter of unwatched students. Some boys talked about the scores in the football game yesterday, a few girls talked about the results of _America's Kinda Got Talent_ , and the most popular girl in the entire school was talking about everyone's social score of the week. She was at the top. of course, Jess Mc'Huggins had gained two points thanks to some shoes, Tim Chestenbalm lost eight points for dumping Ina Wacker...It was all pretty boring until she began to get lower and lower, finally acknowledging the lowest person on the social totem pole. "That new kid's a freak, I think his name is Zim or something. He's been here long enough to make some _loser_ friends like the creepy kid Dib, or those rejects in the corner, or even the girl with the sister complex. But look at him all by himself, I mean what kind of kid doesn't have any friends? It's so...in human. I can't doc points or give points based on his social standing at all!"

Her gaze traveled over to Zim, who's eyes were wide as if he was imagining something absolutely horrible. Ann snickered, gaining her sister's attention. "Did Dib fall off the table again?"

"Even better," She said. "today we're in an episode."

"Which one?"

"Bestest Friends."

Selena looked up from her food, her eyes narrowed and nose wrinkled. "Is that so? Guess the poor kid is gonna loose his eyes, not like he can see already."

Ann raised an eyebrow at the bitter tone that her sister said that in. She wasn't seriously jealous of Keef...Was she? I mean, yeah the boy got to hang out with Zim until the end of school, but at the same time as she watched Zim zap a bunch of the poor kids, it looked more like he was picking out an experiment. She glanced back to her sister who was glaring at the red head. "You know, green isn't a pretty color on you?"

"Huh?"

"Jealousy!" She said. "Getting all jealous of Keef because he get's to hang out with Zim. It's almost cute how your face is screwed up in that little glare, but sit down and think about it. Getting mixed up with Zim is probably one of the worst things we could do right now. Just think about all the terrible things you'd be going through to prove that you'd make a good friend."

She glanced over to the poor kids that were being bit by a rabid bever, blood getting all over the place in ridiculous amounts. She turned back to her food, eyes still narrowed in annoyance. "Whatever."

After a few seconds Zim dragged Keef off by the back of his shirt, food getting all over his shorts. When he passed by Ann's table, Selena grabbed Ann's milk and dumped it all over the two of them, causing Zim to stop and glare at her. "You dare pour the creamy white substance on Zim and his _friend_?!"

Selena gave a dry laugh. "Are you supposed to be threatening right now? I'm literally talking to the one person in school who tortured a bunch of students just so-"

Ann slapped a hand over the girl's mouth, causing her to scream and thrash in her arms, sending Ann's forgotten tray flying. "Sorry guys, she's just upset about that her quiz score wasn't as high as your's, Zim."

The Irken bolstered up in pride. "Yes, it was pretty high, wasn't it?"

"The highest best buddy!"

"Shut up, Keef."

Ann let out a breath when the alien and his new found annoyance left. "Sel, never again."

* * *

For the rest of the day Ann watched in mild relief while Zim 'played' with his new friend. It was nice seeing him interacting with someone who wasn't going to outright hurt him on purpose. Selena on the other hand...The younger girl had made it clear that she hated Keef, was annoyed by all the happiness, and whenever he came near her would pour milk all over him. Ann didn't even know where her sister was getting the milk from, she would just reach into her pocket and pour a mass amount of it all over the boy. Yet the whole time Keef wouldn't say a mean word to her, instead he'd comment on how she always managed to find milk that wasn't radio active or how it didn't curdle when it poured out of the carton. Selena would just stare at him in disgust before storming off, screaming, what could only be profanities, in another language Ann had heard her speak when she wanted to talk back to their mother.

Ann shook her head as she watched it happen for the fifth time today in the middle of recces. "Why don't you just make friends with the guy? I'm willing to bet he'd like that a lot more than milk all over him."

"Shut up."

Ann opened her mouth, but stopped when Keef came up to the girl, a holding something in his hands. "Look! I was gonna give Zim these chocolates, but he ate one then threw 'em at me. Will you eat them? They'll go good with your milk!"

Selena's eyes narrowed as she examined the colorful blue package. Slowly her eyes widened and her body began to shake as she got on her knees and hugged the redhead close, tears streaming down her face. "Y-you have triple choco Belgian chocolate stuffed with raspberry sauce?"

"Yeah, and it only cost me two months worth of my allowance!"

She took the package from him and held it close to her chest. "I-I love you."

The boy practically beamed enough light to illuminate the darkest parts of space. "You're welcome! Now that we're friends you can hang out with Zim together, wouldn't that be fun-"

The infamous broom handle smacked down in front of Keef, a glare on her pale face. "Did you ask if you could hang out with my sister? No! Now go back and snivel to your friend, make sure you take your chocolate with you."

The boy's eyes watered, making him look more like a baby than anything. "B-But, I just wanted..."

"We just wanted to be friends, Sissy!" She brought Keef closer. "Why can't we all just get along?"

"No!"

Keef began to cry while Selena shrieked her strange obscenities at her, however Ann stood firm on her decision. There was no way she was endangering their lives by allowing Selena to be friends with Keef. That boy was creepy, hated by an alien, and had made Zim and Dib work together. No matter how she tried to slice it he only came across as bad news.

"Hey!" Zim marched over to them. "What are you doing to my best _friend_?"

Selena wiped a few tears away. "I-I was just trying to be his friend too, when my sister started being mean for no reason. S-she's so cruel!"

Keef nodded. "Yeah, I thought that we could all be friends together. We could go to the circus, and eat candy on the roof, or even go on a long road trip where suspicious things happen that changes our view of the world."

Ann raised an eyebrow before turning back to Zim. He looked a bit creeped out by all of this, almost as much as she was if not more so. "Why would I agree to that?"

"Because we're friends!" Keef said. "Every human has to have friends! The more friends the better!"

For several moments Zim was silent, his eyes narrowed as he stared at Selena, making Ann's heart race. A smirk began forming on his face as he nodded. "You're right, best _friend_. Maybe this female worm baby may I also be our _friend_."

Ann cleared her throat, gaining the alien's attention. "While I'm glad you decided to stop being the school's punching bag, you have to ask _me_ if you can be her friend. "

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

The alien grit his teeth. "And why is that? I didn't have to ask any of Keef's familial ties in order to befriend him, why must I ask you?"

"Because that's how it goes!" She snapped. "Now grovel before I smack you."

"Zim doesn't grovel!"

"He does speak in third person."

"Huh?"

Ann sighed and yanked Selena up, her skin crawling as she noticed food drop from her pink skirt. "Yeah, I'm not gonna let her be your friend then, see ya around, Zim."

She dragged her sister off, ignoring her whining and Keef's whimpers.

* * *

"What were you thinking!" She stared at her sister as she stood over her in the classroom, Ms. Bitters no where to be found. "You could have been an experiment, a meal, anything!"

"Zim doesn't eat humans."

"For all we know." She wiped a hand on her face and shook her head. "Why can't you just relax a bit? Is it really that hard to try and survive here? I mean how did you survive in the last world anyway?"

Selena's body stiffened and she seemed to recoil. "I lived to sixteen, did a damn good job doing it. It ain't fair for you to sit there and accuse me of shit, when I doubt your own life was squeaky clean. I promised to listen to whatever comes out of your pie-hole, but don't fuck with shit that you don't got a clue about, kay?"

Ann sighed and nodded. "You're right, I know jack about your past life. It was mean to sit down and talk down on you like that. But I still can't let you get too close to Zim, I want you to survive long enough so that I'll have a maid of honor at my wedding."

"You'd wanna marry one of these mouthbreathers? Please tell me you were at least talking about Dib, he's gotta brain."

"Hey, don't talk down on humanity like that!"

"Make me!" She said. "Now let's go get some expensive as all heck chocolate, you just made mine cry and leave."

* * *

Two days later Ms. Bitters was taking the role. Some of the students just ignored her while talking, while others would sluggishly raise their hands regardless if it was their name being called or not. When Keef's name was called there was quiet whistling coming from Zim, but no actual red head raised his hand. Ms. Bitters said his name again, just for their to be silence. "Did Keef call in sick?"

"Last I saw he was going to Zim's house with a bunch of those creepy kids, not Dib though." Zita said.

"Good answer Zita, you get an A." Ms. Bitters scribbled something on her tablet. "Alright, Torque Spanky?"

Ann glanced around the class, almost surprised that she had forgotten about the poor boy, which actually led to a very important question.

Did Keef even survive?

* * *

 _ **A/N: I read that Jhonen wanted Keef to die during this episode. Nick had a fit with that idea, so that's why he's later in a very entertaining episode that didn't get released. The wonderful thing about me, however, is that I'm not dictated and censored by Nicktoons. Instead I'm my own motherfucking person, and as such I can say and do whatever the fuck I please. Will Keef appear again? Who knows.**_

 _ **To ngrey651. You know that there's a woman raping children next door, are you gonna storm in and take her down or call the police? The police have the gear, you don't. The police have the skills, you don't. Ann and Selena have zero skills that would help them take down Zim. Yes, Selena is good at fucking around with electronics, but she's not that good. Ann has no skills outside the ones that you see in this story, nothing that would make her good enough to fight a crazy alien. So aside form being test subjects and bait, they;ve got nothing on their side to help them.**_

 _ **To Cupcake True. I'm glad someone else agrees with my stance. In a lot of stories you have the girls, because let's face it there's mostly female ocs, try to side with Dib or Zim. There's the few that are stupid, or mary-sue, enough to pick both sides. It's just safest to stay as far away as possible and try to avoid the wreckage of destruction.**_


End file.
